ATTENTION! ATTENTION! Achtung! Atención! Attenzione! Aandacht!
Everything published is a parody and exclusively a parody of real news. The Anti-News editorial team is not responsible for the accidental implementation of the news.
Good day, dear reader!
Tired of the nightmare going on in the gaming industry? Or maybe, on the contrary, you think that game dev has slipped into a rotten swamp? Be that as it may, sit back and check out the first (pilot) digest of gaming industry news over the past week.
California authorities have called for the abandonment of the RTX 3090.
California authorities have urged local residents to refrain from purchasing RTX 3090 video cards. According to them, such video cards consume too much electricity and contribute to environmental pollution.
"Come on guys, turn your heads on!"- Tony Thurmond, State Superintendent of Public Instruction, motivates Californians. “Why buy such powerful video cards, what can you play on them?? It’s much better to go outside and do something useful for our home state, rather than sit at the computer for weeks, killing your eyesight. At worst, you can play on consoles. A new Switch was recently announced, buy it! It consumes much less electricity, which means much better!»
A Blizzard employee explained who prompted her to talk about the nightmare going on at the company.
An Activision Blizzard employee, who bettingsitesnogamstop.co.uk wished to remain anonymous, said that an online friend prompted her to speak out about sexual harassment.
“His nickname is Spil Phencer. I am infinitely grateful to him for his support. We often talked about topics related to game development, he showed himself to be a true professional. When I told him about the horrors happening at Blizzard, he became very indignant and began to insist that I immediately tell the journalists about everything. Thank you, dear Spil Phencer, you restored my faith in men."
Nintendo will ban Steam Deck users from its store.
The company published a communique in which it states literally the following:
"We are changing the license agreement. From now on, if a user of our ecosystem is caught using Steam Deck, we have the right to ban his account forever. We don’t need fans playing on both sides. Part E-Shop – part Nintendo.”
Farming Simulator 22 will add elements of vegan culture.
The developers have confirmed that new content will be added to the announced farming simulator. The announcement was published on the ResetEra website.
"I think the time has come. We must fight cruelty and thoughtless consumption not only in life, but also in games. Milking cows = violence and there’s nothing you can do about it. Therefore, in the upcoming game we are removing the ability to milk cows. From now on, they act as pets just like cats or dogs. And for milk lovers, we provide a soy milk production machine. It will be added in one of the upcoming addons.»
An enthusiast conducted an independent investigation. The results are disappointing for Steam Deck fans.
An enthusiast from Italy under the nickname MarioN published a post on Reddit in which he thoroughly disassembled the Steam Deck console. It turned out that many Steam Deck “belives” will remain just “belives”
MarioN and his friend LuigiN concluded that the Steam Deck, given its existing dimensions, will not be able to deliver the performance announced by Valve. The cooling system is also a big question. “In order for such a console not to heat up, it must have an advanced cooling system, which will make the Steam Deck extremely heavy and uncomfortable. And if Valve doesn’t make an adequate cooling system, you could fry eggs on this console. Gabe Newell drove himself into a fork of belives,” summed up MarioN.
Sony buys Parasight studio.
The company liked the “creativity and courage of the developers”.
“Nowadays there are very few people who cut the truth to the living. The developers of Parasight belong to this minority, and we respect all minorities and must take their opinions into account. They are not afraid to point out those who are truly slowing down the industry’s development, which is encouraging,” said Herman Hulst, head of PlayStation Studios.
Let us recall that not long ago the CEO of Parasight announced that the XBox Series S will become a “noose around the neck” of this generation of consoles.
That’s all, thanks for your attention! Lavr Palisandrov and AntiNews of the Gaming Industry were with you!
And remember: fake today – true tomorrow.